did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
