out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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