You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't deserve a penis
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
