My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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