I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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