The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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