im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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