ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
