I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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