I got chris browned last night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
