i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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