Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's blow job season.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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