My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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