she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
