Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize