I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
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he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
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It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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