UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize