My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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