I wish they made helmets for livers.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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