oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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