i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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