definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
