Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
