I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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