his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
