Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Randomize
