I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize