Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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