You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize