Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
