I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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