I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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