like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
