He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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