Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
