? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
