Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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