yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
