6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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