someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
