apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
