i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
