the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
