Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
