I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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