And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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