im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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