She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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