now i know why i became what i already was.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize