You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
