This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
