I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
