Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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