maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
