she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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