It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
