Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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