She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
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you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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