My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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